A Hard Truth About Change

I’m in the change business. I guide, cheer, lead, and listen.

I inspire, model, reflect, and challenge.

But I can’t change you.

Other people can help (friends, partners, coworkers), yet behavior change comes in stages, and you must go through them. Have you heard of these?

• Precontemplation (you don’t intend to take action)
• Contemplation (intending to start)
• Preparation (ready to take action)
• Action (changing the behavior)
• Maintenance (sustaining)

( Prochaska and DiClemente,1970)

Look at that! You only take action once you’ve been getting ready. It goes from, “no way” to “I’m doing this.”

And you can stall out at any stage.

I struggle with wanting people to be in “action” when they are not.

I’m a sucker for latching on in the “compilation” zone (see above; still not ready to take action.) For example, my partner wants to improve his physical health, go to the gym, and adopt an exercise routine. I took the “contemplation bait” a year ago and started asking/encouraging/pestering, “Have you been to the gym? Did you go for a speed walk this afternoon? How about that rowing machine?” I got too invested in “action,” but he wasn’t.

You’d like to be a stronger presenter at work. Your organization may encourage you with performance feedback and training. However, going through the necessary stages before and after “action” make it stick.

So, YES, you can (and should) marshal a team of people and resources to support you on your journey.

Here’s the hard truth about change. It can be quite a road; ultimately, the journey is up to you.

Thoughts?