Learning to Waltz: A Brief Rumination on Slowing Down

Was I 23 when the music stopped?

Until then, my life was busy and full-out: School, family, working full time, getting my masters. Boyfriends? Always had one. Looking back, I was a whirling dervish of a teenager and young adult. If my life had a soundtrack, it would be 60s rock like Janis or the Rolling Stones.

When the music stopped, I was a young woman in a new city. No job, no boyfriend, a small fish in a big pond. My confidence, shredded. The rhythm of the city went on without me. Everyone went off to a job. I did not. My days — previously rockin’ and jammed with meetings, reports and business lunches — now quiet, toned down from a driving rhythm to silence.

When the music stopped, time would do a stretchy thing. A networking lunch would take up my whole day. I felt bad about not being more productive, how everyone else seemed to be grooving along, my volume reduced to shadowy Muzak.

Why the hell am I thinking about this?

As I write this, I’m day two into a five-week hiatus from being the full-time mom of my 15 year old twins. They are with their dad in Arizona for the month. Work is on the slow side.

So without the kids and work pouring in, the music hasn’t exactly stopped, but has changed from 60’s rock to perhaps a waltz or a Beethoven concerto.

So how do I adjust to the change in tempo? If work is slower, do I still keep my hours intact? If I have a task that takes me 15 minutes in my rockin’ life — should I allow it to extend to an hour — just because I have the hour?

I know the answer. You know the answer: “ NO!”

Waltz

When life shifts to a waltz, slow down and waltz.

Right now, this means containing my periods of work so I am at my desk for intense spurts — then doing something else. Or not. A nap? Reading my old New Yorkers? Paddleboarding on a local lake? Making something fabulous for dinner from the NYT? Sitting in my glorious backyard and watching the clouds and hummingbirds? Going on adventures with friends? Cuddling up with my partner on the couch without listening for teenage feet descending the stairs?

I’m an energetic woman — a driving beat is the music of my life. I’ve designed it that way.

Here’s my 50-year old wisdom and resolve: When I feel out of synch with a busy rockin’ world, I give my permission (and have the financial luxury and maturity) to experience another speed. To relish alone time and doing the things I love.

And my challenge to you? If you find yourself swaying to a new tempo, think about your choices. Notice the ways you might be ignoring the gift of a waltz. And dance!

Enjoy the summer.